My Man Buble Got Hitched

US.com said this shit...

Crazy Love indeed!

Pop star Michael Buble married gal pal of two yearsLuisana Lopilato in a civil ceremony in Buenos Aires Thursday, reports the Associated Press.

PHOTOS: Stars blingiest engagement rings

The bride, a 23-year-old Argentine TV star, wore a lilac chiffon dress and silver heels, while her Grammy winning groom, 35, donned a gray suit.

The newlyweds posed for a mob of fans after tying the knot at the civil registry downtown. They exchanged a kiss and Lopilato tossed her bouquet of orchids into the crowd, according to reports. See more photos from their wedding!

PHOTOS: Weddings of the year

Throughout the day, Lopilato updated her fans about her wedding via Twitter. Thanking her family and friends she wrote, "How beautiful it all was!" 

Buble, who dated Emily Blunt for two years and was once engaged to singer-actress Debbie Timuss, began seeing Lopilato in 2009 after meeting her on a South American tour. He proposed to her in front of her family in Argentina in November, according to reports.

PHOTOS: Gorgeous celebrity weddings

The pair are reportedly planning a full ceremony with 300 guests at a mansion outside Buenos Ares next month, as well as an additional celebration in Vancouver. 

Love me some Buble.  Saw him in concert.  I think a lot of guys secretly like em.  I know girls do.  Funny dude.  Hell of a voice.  All around stud.  Usually I spite marriage but, go head Buble.  Do your thang.  Plus, he sure does sound like me.

Hangover Part 2 - Full Trailer

Well at least the plot didn't change.  At all.

I don't really mind either.  Obviously as they were making it they took into account that they weren't going to do any better than the first.  I respect that.  But seriously?  Same eggsact thing but in Thailand.  

Now, I've been to Thailand.  Been to Bangkok.  Seen some shit.  If they keep it real, I'm going to like it.  Well, I like any movie that has a bunch of friends getting fucked up together because I'm 22 and partially alcoholic.

3 things - 

1.  Monkey Jokes - Girls are going to beat them into the ground after a few months.

2.  Ken Jeong is back - Dude can't get any work anyway so I'm happy to see him but didn't even like em in the first.

3.  Yeezy in the opening of the trailer - That shit got me pumped.  Hats off to the trailer editor.

The VS Models Were Out And About

No real news.  Just models being models.  I assume they didn't say shit the entire time.  Which is perfectly fine.

Call me crazy, but I'm not into any of them right here.  These three are dare I say, "Getting old."

Plus Lima looks like a fucking vampire.  Clean it up babygirl.  Me no likey.

Ok...so maybe I rushed the whole, "Getting old," line.  Just maybe a little too skinny?

Naa...they are all still pretty hot.

Ferrer Is My Kind Of Guy

I have no problem with this guy's actions at all.  

Who the fuck brings a baby to a tennis match?  

What happened after he hit the ball?

That damn baby shut up.

Kimmel Got B Spears This Time - She Got a Mommy Gut

I don't know how he did it.  She's not even hot anymore but she's still untouchable.  Kimmel doesn't give a fuck.  A - listers all over the fucking place.  The skit wasn't terrible.  Stupid people will think it's real so it will go viral.  Genius again on Kimmel's part.  If only she were still hot.  

Kid Is WICKED SMAHT

Jake, who has an IQ of 170, began solving 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzles at the age of 3, not long after he’d been diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, a mild form of autism. A few years later, he taught himself calculus, algebra, and geometry in two weeks. By 8, he had left high school, and is currently taking college-level advanced astrophysics classes—while tutoring his older classmates. And he’s being recruited for a paid researcher job by Indiana University.

Look up other vids of the little brat.  He's interesting.

I love this Good Will Hunting shit.  Little bastards who leave high school at 8 to study what they like and shit.  Plus, I love savants.  People write them off as being useless, then they look like fucking idiots because the kid steals their job when they're 14.  The mom is fucking dumb and she knows it.  "I'm watching Ellen, and this little bastard is solving theories of relativity."  The question we have to ask ourselves is...who is Gerald Lambeau?  Sorry kid.  No one fucking cares.  Just stop everything you are doing, get your best friends to buy you a car, leave your Ellen loving idiot mom a note that says, "I had to see about a girl" and drive to California to find Mini Driver at Stanford because doing math isn't going to get you laid.  Ever.

How do you like them apples.

Lil Girl Likes Cudi and Cleavland

I don't like little kids.  Well, I don't like little brat kids who don't know their place.  I do, however, like this little princess.  100% how I want my little girl to be.  The way she feels the fuck out dat beat!  Like when I'm 52 (25 in girl years) I want my little 2 year old to be groovin with me to some Ush or Jay Z.  I especially likes it when she give her dada props.  "Yo, daddy.  Luh you daddy.  This my shit."  Then she just zones the fuck out.  

Movie Review - How Do You Know

Wasn't expecting much.  Got less.  Aside from the facts that I'm in love with Reese and can't get enough of Owen Wilson and Paul Rudd, this movie pissed me off.  I mean it really made me dislike everyone involved.  Sure, I grinned like an idiot every time Reese said or did anything.  Other than that, I fell asleep twice, and giggled maybe a few times when I watched the blooper reel.  Maybe next time I could watch it with a female like it's intended but, doubtful.  I like watching chick flicks alone.  Makes me feel all warm inside with a nice box of wine and a finger in my ass on a Monday night.  Know what I mean?

In other news...Brooklyn Decker was in a bikini.

Movie Review - Limitless

So, I figured I'd do a little movie reviewing.  Entertainment news has bored me lately.  I do that shit to keep an audience.  However, I'm taking a break from that sort of writing because it isn't what I want to do.  Same reason I don't have a Twitter account.  Frankly I don't give a shit what anyone else does or thinks in this world but me.  Call me selfish.  I call it being 22.  

I'll be honest.  I went into Limitless with very low expectations.  That usually helps any movie I see.  It most certainly did for me.  

I'm not here to give you a regurgitated plot summary.  If you don't know what the movie is about or any background on the actors in it, look it up.  

This movie surprised me in many ways.  I figured March release date, not much to see here.  Your average hour and thirty minute piece of shit with a mediocre performance from everyone involved.  However, I found myself pleasantly refuted.  

The Good:

-  Bradley Cooper:  Solid performance.  Believed that he was an out of shape, struggling writer within the first 3 minutes.  My guess is that he stopped brushing his teeth and ate nothing but fast food

for about a month.  Convincing.  Takes NZT, the Bradley Cooper we all know and love hits the screen.  Dude is seriously gorgeous.  Any haircut he had, handsome.  Words that came out of his mouth, I heard him.  The role was really written for him.  Usually I don't respect anyone that isn't a character actor, but I like Cooper's spunk.  And by that I mean  have a man crush on em.  And by that I mean I want to kiss him on the mouth.

- Screenplay:  Thank God it was nothing like I expected.  I was expecting something close to, if not, a Tyler Perry production.  Again, I was wrong.  It wasn't stupid.  Keeps you on your toes from start to finish.  Finance scenes were very believable.  Violence, loved it.  What I liked most about the script was how smart it was.  There was no point in the movie where I said to myself that I didn't believe any of the things I was seeing was questionable.  Now, that's not hard to do with the movie's concept, but I don't care.  Any good screenplay evokes a response from the viewer.  I mean I wanna fuckin run 10 miles and reorganize my stock portfolio, so I think it did the trick.  I liked it.  Not love, but liked it.

The Bad:

- Cinematography:  Cheep zoom transitions and bad lighting issues lost me in a few scenes.  I don't really need the fucking zoom from one end of New York to another.  And if I want it, I want it to be clean and short, not some fucking cheap ride through windows with one or two pedestrians catching my focus.  The lighting.  Just fucking cheap for me.  We get it.  He's on and off NZT.  I need the lighting change once, not 100 times.  One quick one in the beginning and middle and I'm set.  Other than that, let the actor show me in his performance what the fuck is happening to his mind.

-  That I Don't Have Any NZT:  I admit, I was seduced by the drug.  Who wouldn't be?  A pill a day and I could basically achieve anything I wanted to.  Who wouldn't take it?  Obviously idiots would say they wouldn't but that's because they are stupid and shouldn't be allowed to talk.  From the fe drugs I've done, NZT reminded me most of Adderall.  So if you want to see Limitless, I totally recommend seeing it on adderall.  I saw it while I drank a large diet Pepsi and I'm basically re-evaluating my life.



Alright, I ran out of diet Pepsi so I'm done.

Random song today is off of Breezy's new album.  Shit gets me going for Spring.

"I know what time it is, cuz you coo coo."

Chris Brown Is Not A Smart Person - Not Well At Grammar

Chris fucked up again.  

Remember when he told the Post that he was a "grown ass man" and how he doesn't like to walk around unhappy and shit and how he's a really nice guy right now and how his new album is called FAME for Forgive All My Enemies and how he's not a violent person and how he's been really good about terms on his probation and how for the past two years now he's been really good?

Well, he lied.  He's actually an emotionally unstable little dweeb.  

He was on Good Morning America and Robin asked a question about Rihanna.

Response from CB - 

“It’s not really a big deal to me now as far as that situation. I think I’m past that in my life. I think today’s the album day so that’s what I’m focused on. Everybody go get that album.”

Welp, that just wasn't good enough for Robin.

Roberts asked Brown about the situation two more times; Brown seemed increasingly agitated as their conversation progressed. After the interview, Brown performed.

The moment the song ended, he let loose.

The show’s hair and makeup staff said they had called security because they heard loud noises coming from Brown’s dressing room.

It was then discovered that a window had been smashed in Brown’s dressing room. The thick glass was destroyed and strewn across the street below.

Chris cried some more, on Twitter.

This is already down from his Twitter, but Joe was too fast, too quick.

I can't wait to see what Sheen says about this.  

Really Chris Brown, really?  At least have proper grammar when you go on a rant.  Dude obviously still isn't over Rihanna.  I get it.  We all have that one love that got away.  I mean we all have that one girl that we really loved and then beat the fuck out of and then she "got away."

At least this will help his album sales go up.  

This all could have been averted if he just listened to Usher.  Want to get over Ri or any girl?  

3:08 still gets me pumped.  

Kelly Brook Is ....................................... Pregnant :(

Um.  Hey.  I uh...  Well, I don't know what to say really.  My faith is rattled.  My walls have crumbled.

Kelly Brook is, in fact, preggers.  And I mean...pregnant.

I'm not making that picture any fucking bigger out of respect for my penis.

That's the end of this story.  I just can't...

This Manatee Pretty Much Sums Up My Spring Break

So I just finished a big paper last night around midnight.  Just in time for St. Patty's day and March Madness tonight.  And by that I mean me with a glass of wine on my parent's couch talking to my mom about how "hard" school is and why I need her to send me to Greece to relax this summer.

This manatee doesn't give a fuck.  Like I thought my friends and I didn't give no fucks, but this Manatee is killing the "don't give a fuck" game right now.  "Yeah, there's a wall there.  Imma float right the fuck into it.  I can because I'm a motherfuckin manatee.  I feel like this song was playing in his head when he bounced off of the glass.

Rihanna Is Not Ashamed Of Her Body - Couldn't Tell

Rihanna likes her body.  Even though it isn't perfect.  Well get the fuck out, you crazy fuckin bitch.

Vouge said all this shit....

In a barely-there dress on the cover of Vogue's April issue,Rihanna looks crazy confident. But the "Umbrella" singer, 23, says that wasn't always the case.

"Over the holidays, and during filming (the action flickBattleship), I realized I actually like my body, even if it's not perfect according to the book," she tells the magazine. "I just feel sexy. For the first time, I don’t want to get rid of the curves. My body is comfortable, and it's not unhealthy, so I'm going to rock with it.”

PHOTOS: Check out Rihanna's craziest looks

And it's probably a good thing she's content with her shape, because Rihanna admits she's not a fan of working out.

"I hate going to the gym and doing it the old-fashioned way," she said. "I hate anything that's too straightforward, too routine, too familiar. I get bored really, really quickly."

PHOTOS: Winter's sexiest bikini bodies

Body issues aside, the Caribbean native says she's never been one to blend into the crowd.

"When I was fourteen and first started going out, I always wanted to be the opposite of everyone else," she said. "So I would go to the club in a polo T-shirt and pants and sneakers and a hat on backward, just so I would not be dressed like other girls. I got desperate for things that weren't available in Barbados."

PHOTOS: Rihanna and other stars who straddle their beaus

Now all grown-up, the Grammy-nominated artist says her fashion is still about "risks."

PHOTOS: Check out Rihanna and other stars wore to the Grammys

"When I am putting looks together, I dare myself to make something work," she says. "I always look for the most interesting silhouette or something that's a little off, but I have to figure it out. I have to make it me."

Never been able to blend into the crowd?  It's kind of tough to when you wear shit like this.

If you want to be daring gain 50lbs and then try to pull shit off.  It would be fucking tough.  X-Tina does it everyday.

Vanessa Is Upset - Vagina Not That Hairy Now

Remember back in the day (Tuesday) when I showed the pics of Hudgens all nuded up?

Welllll she didn't like that too much.

US.com had this to say.....

Always beware the ides of March. For Vanessa Hudgens, that meant dealing with the leak of a brand-new batch of shocking nude photos, which blazed the web on Tuesday March 15.

PHOTOS: Her ex Zac Efron's transformation

It's not the first time the Sucker Punch actress, 22, has dealt with similar pics. Reportedly self-taken, nude photos were released without authorization first in 2007 -- and another batch in 2009.

"Vanessa is deeply upset and angered that these old photos, which were taken years ago, continue to resurface," the star's attorney, Christopher Wong, tellsUsMagazine.com in a statement.

PHOTOS: Other famous Hollywood sex scandals

No word yet on who is behind the leak, or how they got a hold of the R-rated photos in the place.

PHOTOS: From little angels to devils

Continues Wong: "It is particularly disturbing that whoever got hold of these private photos seems to be intent on illegally leaking them out over a long period of time. We are actively working with law enforcement to determine who is responsible and hold them accountable for their actions."

So the pics are old.  Thank God.  I was almost going to take her out of my top 100.  Almost.

By the way, I wonder who in the world could have leaked the pics?  Who could have done that?

The Hangover - For Chicks

This is the vid for the female version of The Hangover.  Translation: The not funny version.

They released a trailer earlier in the year for this.  I actually kind of liked it.  I might have been drunk when I watched it, but I liked it.  This, however, has got to go.  I only laughed once during the entire thing.  (The part where the kid eats the BC.  "Saturday."  Classic.)

Just reason 564,355 of why girls aren't funny.  I mean I love me some Kristen Wiig.  She usually does it for me.  Not this time though.  I'll give it a fair chance and say it's going to be a dirty movie and this trailer can't do it justice.  But honestly, girls suck at this stuff.  Like I don't wanna see girls puking and stuff sweating and pooping.  I like to think girls do none of those things.

RIP Nate Dogg

We've lost one of the greatest hook singers of all time.  Really on of the smoothest voices in the game, ever.  He worked with everyone from Dre to Snoop.  So what if they are both West Coast.

He's left us with many hits.  The most well known being Regulators with Warren G.  However, I'm not going to show that video today as it is best listened to in a vehicle after the sun has gone down.

Instead this gem...

Kimmel Did It Again

The skit itself isn't necessarily that funny.  Jimmy gets it though.  Put enough hot famous women in your video and your ratings will go up.  I don't know if it is the fact that he films in L.A., my future home, or if it's just that he's one of the only genuine people in showbiz, but he can book stars.  Whether it is to counter the fucking Matt Damon video or to do the prequel to this video.  Dude is a genius.

Not to mention, NPH kills it.

V Hudgens Leaked Some More Pics - Vagina Shot

Well she's just naughty isn't she.  Too bad she still obviously does not have the body for it or started waxing yet.

Above:  Making out with some other Disney star, Alexa Nikolas.  Below:  Vagina.

Warning:  A tad explicit....but still censored.

Now that's how you send a nudie pic.  Good God, Vanessa.  Keep it in your pants.  I'm all about female anatomy but we just met.

I get it.  You're young.  Show it off.  Like Chris Rock said, "40 year old titty, your man's titty.  20 year old titty, community titty."

But if you're famous and want to have any sort of career this shit just probably isn't a good idea unless you're a dude.

At Least Ke$ha Can Sing, Right?

............................   Ke$ha was in Australia.  On tour?

hllglasndbahsmbfkj

Look, I'm not going to go on a big long rant about how being skinny is good or anything.  I don't really give a shit what size anyone is as long as they are good people, blah, blah, blah.

However, if you are a famous girl, famous for extremely shitty songs, or have more money than me for making said shitty songs, you have no right to look like this.  

Just proves that anyone can become famous.

Basically one of the many reasons I don't want children.  The 0.1% chance that they become someone like this.

Here was Kesha before she was Ke$ha.

My First Big Exclusive

Yahoo sent me this exclusive.  OK maybe they did maybe they didn't.  

This video is the first 5 minutes of the new movie Source Code with JG.  This movie actually looks kind of fun to watch and it has ol' Jake in it so it will be a great date movie.  Plus the movie takes place right outside of Chicago so I luh dat.   

In the movie, JG is an agent that uses this machine to put himself into another person's body for eight minutes.  However, all JG wants to do it save the girl.  He wants to save her because the motherfuckin train blows the fuck up every eight minutes.  It's JG's job to save the people by finding the bomb.  

Anyway everyone enjoy.  Not every blog has this fancy shit.  Feel special.  Then again I guess you could always just go over to Yahoo and watch this but then you wouldn't get my witty dialog with it would you.  Or OC clips.

I Like To Set Goals

It's past midnight now.  I didn't do shit all damn day.  I did, however, get caught up on Real Housewives of the OC, 30 Rock, No Reservations, Clockstoppers, How High, brushed my teeth filled out a couple of brackets, did 25 push-ups (straight), 200 crunches (not straight), showered, watched old SNL episodes, texted, got elbow deep in my boxers and played with myself.  All while not leaving my room.  I call that a Monday.

Kady Purry Is Good At Selling Stuff

Katy Perry was in Germany launching her fragrance, "Purr."

All I can say is she's killin it right now.  I've seen her out and about a few different times and she has looked great every single time.  She sure as hell knows how to work her boobies.  I instantly become a 12 year old little boy whenever I see he slangin those things around.  

Not to mention, she kinda made Gaga's pisser of a song tolerable.

Simba and Mufasa Just Chillin

Came across this pic today.  Love me some lion pics.  Especially lion pics that look like they could be straight out of the Lion King.

Just the perfect father son pic.

"Bet those hyenas were even scareder."

"Cause nobody messes with your dad!"

I feel like whenever my dad talks to me, he sounds like Mufasa.  Or is it because James Earl Jones is my dad.

Pauly D Meets Ovechkin

Looks like Pauly D was a bit start struck.  

Shit like this gets me hard.  I love weird meetings that no one sees coming.  Like I didn't wake up and expect to see Ovie shaking up with Pauly D.  

Maybe Ovie was star struck.  

Don't forget, the Caps victory song is Pauly's.

Chocolate Drop Is Killin The Game

CD aka Kevin Hart, is raw as fuck.  Like hardest hittin dude in the game right now.  And I know what you're thinking right now.  "Joe, what game is this dude in right now?  Rap game?  R&B game?  Vlog game?"

This n***a is in all that shit baby!

Tellin these little motherfuckers to do them.  Imma reTweet that shit.  Do you.  Everybody.

Just rippin the fuck out of some random old white dude sittin behind him in the airport.  Old dude didn't want NONE.

Might as well be a Dragon.  He got a tail.

PAWN TAKE YOUR ROOK.  

YUPP.

Kate Middleton is Pretty Cute

Kate was strutting her abs on some boat in some cool location.  She's pretty cute.  I'll give it to her.  I just feel like this has Princess Di all over it.  Like in a few years the Queen is going to order a divorce, Kate will be run over, and Prince William will be dating Angelina Jolie.  Fucking home-wrecker.

Bulls

We don't really need to start comparisons.  Anything with Jordan on it is Jordan's.  Kobe is not the new MJ, he's just the new Kobe.

I'm just glad the Bulls are getting credit.  I've got em behind the Lakers and Spurs.  I can see them winning playoff games but they don't have much experience past a certain point.  

Pretty sure the Bulls are atop the East now.  That's saying something.  The East is a beast.  Word play.

However, we have got a lot of ball to play from now to the Finals.  For now, we'll just dream.

Tyra Banks Goes To Harvard, Kinda

TB has been enrolled in Harvard's Owner/President Management program.

Tyra is paying 31k a year for three years to attend Harvard for three weeks each year. 

Looks like Harvard knows business a little better than her right now.  "Sure, need not apply, just give us 100k for 9 weeks of school."

Maybe after the program she'll understand why she can't afford this fucking idea and why she should start working for Enterprise because of their great employee benefits and solid company infrastructure. 

She said this shit to CBS...

Banks has brains!

Tyra Banks has been attending Harvard Business School since last year.

Enrolled in the Harvard Owner/President Management Program, the model-turned-mogul, 37, is intent on building her business savvy. "It's pretty exclusive," she told CBS News.

PHOTOS: Stars who love their curves

Pricey too. Banks is shelling out $31,000 a year to spend just three weeks on campus for three years. "But I feel like it is so, so worth it," she said. "In order for my company to grow and be the best, and to reach these women, and to serve them, I needed the best. So I went to the best."

PHOTOS: Tyra, Kim & More: Meet my wax twin!

The ex Victoria's Secret stunner has been interested in going back to school since dropping out of Loyola Marymount University to purse modeling at age 17. "The day I put college on hold because I got discovered....was one of the most difficult decisions of my entire life," she said.

PHOTOS: The love lives of supermodels

So how do classmates react to the model-student? "I get mixed reactions," she said. "There are little facial expressions....The chin goes back, like, 'Really?'...it's like why is a model going to Harvard? But that's actually a good thing, because when people have low expectations, you're just constantly going, 'Ta-da!' And they're like 'Wow.' It doesn't take a lot to wow them." 

At least she still thinks people look at her like she is a model/hot at all.  


Hey, Tyra, people aren't looking at you like that because they think you're a model. They look like that because you're in a Harvard program and you shouldn't be because you probably never attended high school.

Phillippe You Dog

'Ol Ryan can't seem to stop having sex with women these days.  And by that I do NOT mean Amanda "Ugly Ass Bitch"  Seyfried.  That thing is not a female.  

US Weekly reported this shit...

Ryan Phillippe might have to prep for round three of Daddy Duty!

The actor, 36, who already has two kids with ex-wifeReese Witherspoon, may become a father again -- so says his ex, pregnant model-actress Alexis Knapp, who has claimed she's carrying his baby. (Knapp recently stepped out in Hollywood, bearing an unmistakable baby bump.)

PHOTOS: Star dads on duty

"She's in the second trimester," a source close to Knapp confirms to UsMagazine.com of Knapp, who next stars in the  film Project X (out this Thanksgiving) plus the Miley Cyrus flick So Undercover. (A rep could not be reached for comment.)

First-time mom Knapp dated Phillippe for several months on and off last year before he ended the relationship in September. "She has been telling people he is the father," explains another source to Us.  Counters the Knapp source: "She's not commenting on who the father is."

PHOTOS: Who else in Hollywood is expecting?

"Ryan doesn't know if he is the dad," adds the second source of the Lincoln Lawyer actor. "If he is, he will take full responsibility for the child."

Explains a third insider of Phillippe and Knapp: "He and Alexis were actually together for a while...It was pretty serious."

"He's a good guy," adds the insider. "He loves being a dad and takes being a dad really seriously."

PHOTOS: Undercover lovers in Hollywood

His kids with Witherspoon, 34, are Ava, 11, and Deacon, 7.

"If this kid is his," the insider says, "He will do the right thing. He takes his responsibility seriously."

PHOTOS: Ryan and other shirtless hunks

Phillippe's current squeeze is Amanda Seyfried -- although the duo have been tight-lipped about their romance. "I'm dating," said Phillippe on Friday's Ellen DeGeneres Show. "Not nearly as voracious as the magazines like to make out, [but] I am dating."

Damn Ryan.  Play on playa.  I see you.  But that's like the mortal sin of being a celebrity that fucks a lot. Always pull out.

I like Phillippe too.  Stays in shape.  Still ripped even though he's a dad.  Plus people have told me he looks like me which is a huge complement for him.

 He really should have stuck with Reese when he could have because she is very close to stealing my heart these days.  If she didn't have kids I would probably return her phone calls.

Cue the music....