Yo Girl at :40, Occupy Deez Nuts

I wanna be on that.

God, girls like her are the best.  Probably hit the party scene too hard when she was like 18 and now she just fights for weird obscure, ludicrous causes like women's equality and dreamcatchers.

But boy, oh boy, is she sexy.  Watching her 3 seconds of camera time was like being with a puppy for a whole hour, simply the best.

Don't Judge Me

First of all, don't judge me.

You've all been there before.

The lights in the living room are off but the TV is on mute and you accidentally type in "Adam Lambert" on youtube.

Happens to everyone, right?

He fucking kills Play that Funky Music.  Even I would fuck that beautiful, beautiful man.

I agree with Slash.  Maybe just stay on the low registers.

I fuckin love this stoner dude/guy.

Don't ask me how I know, but I know this dude got kicked off immediately when they said it wasn't a competition for weed.

I wanna have this motherfucker's babies -

Smooth as black dude.

This one is probs my favy - 1:45 for the goods.

Oh and...

Beyonce isn't really pregnant...

Using a surrogate...

Christina Aguilera Sang and Probably Ate Whole Pig In Europe

Umm, Christina?

Are you in there?

Blink if you're in there.

Fix your hair if you're in there.

Start running if you're in there.

No one has fallen faster from my spank bank faster than Christina.

I remember when I was a young lad still jerkin it to Maxim magazine.  

She was the go-to material for like a good year.  Do you know how long a magazine lasts when you use it for masturbation purposes?

Like 6 days.  

Especially when you're 13.  Like, now it's probably down to a reasonable 3 times a day.

But back when I was 13 it was like 14 times a day.  My skin down there was like the leather they used for battle in the Middle Ages.

Anyway... here is an homage to what used to be...

You might notice a trend of her trashier days.

You caught me.  I fuckin loved that shit.

Dirtier the better.

Nothing sexier than a girl that knows she's a nympho.

Go 'head Xtina.  Do yo thang, baby.

Leo Dumped Blake

Happened while I was gone.

Looks like Bar had something ol' Blake didn't.

I'd like to guess that it was something weird like Leo really liked to be dominated and Blake wasn't into it.

But, who knows?

How would it feel to be Blake though?

Probably pretty good.

I mean yeah you got used... Yeah you're interchangeable...

But look, there are other famous people that are younger and hotter than Leo.

Namely me.

And hey, you're still rich, young and famous so, fuck it.

When Shitting Your Pants Goes Bad? Or Really, Really Good

Ripped this from the Stool.

This crazy honey can hear just fine.

The thing she really can't do?

Hold her fucking stool.

I've seen it a million times.  Act like you can't hear shit then let real shit out into your pants.

This lady is like the Dolli Llama (I know the spelling is wrong but it's funny) of shitting pants.

This lady is the Tom Brady of pooping yourself.

Take notes everyone.  This is how you do it.

What's Up You Fucking Animals?

I see you lookin' Minka...

And yeah, you see me.

I'm back.

Not even going to apologize for taking such a long siesta because I just checked my stats and I've still been getting steady hits since I left.

Ya'll love my shit huh?

Anyway...

I'm going to ease you guys back into this.

We might have a few virgins to the site.

Don't worry.  I'll be gentle.

Maybe.