So, I'm still in Italy.

Started in Florence.  Then Went to Venice.  Now I'm on the coast.

Florence was sick as fuck.  Women everywhere.  Good shopping.  Good wine.

Our driver out of Venice showed us the Jersey Shore apartment which ended up only being about 3 blocks from our hotel.

I guess he worked security for them at a press thing.  He didn't know any of their names but he did describe Snooki as, "the onea witha the biga hair" and J Woww as, "the onea witha the biga boobs."

So that was cool.

Venice was...well lets just say if you don't like Gucci or Prada or water you wouldn't like it.  

Now I'm on the coast.  And we got bumped to a resort and spa so this dude has been livin lavish.  

We walked up and there is this murdered out 2010 Lambo parked basically in the front door.  Shit looked like the Bat-mobile. 

At least 4 yachts outside in the cove everyday.  Old money yachts too.  

I've been kickin it by the pool because, well, they want it, I want it, everyone wins.  

(actual view of the pool)

(my spot is the next to last one on the right, perfect view of everything, I go down at like 7 and put my towel there so no-one takes it)

First thing I notice is how all of the women are fucking awesome looking.  

The only thing that sucks is that most of the men also look like this.

So what if I'm a tad whiter and out of shape.  Makes me different.  And if it's anything women like, it's different.

There is like one Italian woman, 5"10, gorgeous and she belongs to the dude with the Lambo.

This dude is like 300lbs and wears a speedo everywhere he goes.  Probably worth about 10 billion cuz he walks around like his dick is about 15 inches long.  It's hilarious.  

Every other person around the pool knows me as the drunk guy who does can-openers by the no-diving sign.

The chicks dig it.

And the best part is, every woman looks bored out of their mind.  So I'm basically in.  

I wrote 307 in sunscreen on my fucking chest today so I should get a few knocks tonight around midnight.

Anyway...I'm not coming back.  Pretty much said fuck school and all the bullshit.  They said they would start paying me to do what I do here because I've been getting everyone so drunk that they buy a lot more shit in the Spa the day after.  

Ciao to everyone.  

It was cool while it lasted, American women.

To all my back home niggas.  Imma see yall.  Don't worry.

I'm going to have them change room 217 into my personal apartment.

REALLY glad I watched this video before this trip.

Been clicking with all the ladies if ya know what I mean, pimp.