Bieber Sucks

This fucking kid.  

More on this later when I tear the VMAs apart.

Stay tuned.

Welcome Back To School You Idiots

Welp, the girls are back at ISU and I'm back at Wesleyan.

With my brain and their cute butts it's basically going to be a goddamn breading ground for superhuman children.

Grading The Latest MILFs

Brooke Burke - B-

Yeah, she's still hot.  But I bet her vagina didn't respond well to those kids.  If ya know what I mean.

Heidi Klum - D+

Breaks my heart.  Classic, "I look awesome when I'm all done up and airbrushed," but she aint shit in the sunlight.

And that's the fact, Jack.

Damn kids.

Halle Berry - A-

What can I say?  The exception to the rule.  Go 'head girl.

This one is for you Halle...

This Is Basically What I'm Doing To Life Right Now

Live. Laugh. Love.

And this is just genius....

"DIE DIE DIE"

"You think you're gunna get rid of me by throwin a twin size mattress off the balcony?"

Funny Or Die Video

Genius.

From start to finish.

Normally I would give my favorite quotes.

Can't.

Love em all.

Irina Shayk Has A Cool Body

Happy Monday fuckers.

.

Oh. My. God.

At first I thought these were fake.

They aren't.

This is the same kid who freaked out and tried to shove a remote up his own ass.

I think this is like some new sort of fucked up..

Like, his parents really messed up somewhere.

I would smack the fuck out of this little brat.

But it is funny to watch...

I'm really at a loss for words.

More on this kid later.

Impressive.

Well if this doesn't take the cake, I don't know what does.

Loyalty.

That's all that needs to be said.

Just one guy lovin' what another guy does on some not gay shit.

The only problem I have is...

When this guy is in full swing of a standing 69, does his girl get hot from seeing John Elway's face next to this dude's Johnson?

Like, does she slap him on the thigh to get him to think about John Elway too?

Like, does that get him hot?

So many questions.

So little answers...

Ron Artest, While Insane, Has A Good Heart

Stupid Cat Video Is Kind Of Funny

"Now I think I'll lay down here cuz I got no fuckin bills to pay."

Am I a stupid cat?  This is how I live every day of my life.

I Officially Want To See "The Change-Up"

Almost NC-17.

"They'll laugh their cock off."

"Wrinkles likes to get nutty, bring her along."

"Is she a freak?  We'll take her money."

"We have dumb jobs."

Oh Fuck You Kardashians

Fuck.

Another one?

Really?  Really.

Kris gets another 10% I guess.

I love how she thinks pimping her kids out makes her some kind of businesswoman.

Oops.  That's not a word.

Damon Being Damon - The One Human I Would Marry

If you've ever been bald, you know that your dome gets burnt within 3 minutes.

Classic Damon.

And where was he?  What was he doing?

Fighting for teachers and his mom.  No big deal.

Stud.

Kate Upton Is The D Rose Of Almost Being Naked With A Cow

Speaking of farm animals...

Miranda Kerr Was On A Runway

Dunno about the wank-eye she's got going on here but her tits look awesome.

The one perk of pregnancy.

P.s. Sexy accent...

Kanye and Jay Z feat. Otis Redding - Otis

Y'all.  

Aint.

Ready.

Watch the Throne.

JC Chasez Shits On Matthew Morrison

Hey Matthew, bro, go back to your pussy recorded TV show.

Real men on stage only.

My boi JC just crushing life in this clip.

I've got to agree with the girls in the vid.

I got chills when that stud hit the notes.

Kevin Durant Goes For 66 At Rucker

Dude is in the NBA.

He better be able to do this.

P.s.  My birthday - 9-29-88    Kevin's birthday - 9-29-88

Both the best at what we do.

Him - ballin.

Me - spending my parents money and gettin pussy.

.....and is that fat LBJ at around :50?

Move Over Hugh Jackman

SORRY HUGH.

BIEBER IS HERE.

NOT GIVIN A FUCK TOO.

BIG DAWG.

BIG POPPA.

WHAT DOES THIS KID EAT?  HUMANS?

CALL THIS KID JUSTIN-CREDIBLE.

Move Over Turtle

Saint Tropez, France

Sorry Turtle.

43 and not giving a fuck.

Classic Hugh.

Classic Wolverine.

Stud.

Go 'Head Turtle

Can't be mad at that.

Do you pimp.

Ex girlfriend dates an NFL quarterback after you?

What do you do, sit at home and eat ice cream and watch Aladdin?

No.

You drop some lbs and go back to the hottest show of the decade.

You Want Equality - I Got Your Equality

If you read my blog, you know I'm a pilates freak.

You also know that I love women.

You also know that I love when women try to do things that guys do.

Like this...

Well, 'nuff said.

You know what doesn't feel like a 1000 lb motorcycle landing on you?

Making me an egg sandwich with nothing but high heels on.